I have always been in awe, fear, and love with water. When I learned to swim underwater I would stay under as long as I could hold my breath. The silence, safety, and calmness I felt would soon be replaced by sheer panic. I would rush to the surface and explode from the water relieved…only to do it all over again. I had a fear of drowning but could not resist being immersed. I wanted to live in that place. But I was afraid I would die in it. Water and I had a complicated relationship.
Like a powerful magnet, I find water to be irresistible. Maybe it is because I was born in Cancer, the water sign, and landed in the Florida Keys, a world surrounded by water. I always feel most at home when water is nearby. Or better yet, when I am immersed in the water. If I could breathe underwater, I would stay immersed for days in a blissful meditation that would heal every broken thing inside me. I might be on the extreme end, but I am not alone in my love of the water.
Water is a universal longing. A longing that makes sense. The planet is covered in about 71% water, our bodies are made up of 60-70% water. Our cells must be replenished with water daily to function properly. We are instinctively attuned to look for water as a source of life. The relationship between humans and water goes deep into our primitive psyche. Dr. Wallace Nichols, a marine biologist, has spent the second half of his career devoted to something he calls the Blue Mind Theory. He has done solid research to show what humans have intuitively known for a long time: just gazing out on a body of water can bring calmness and increase well-being.
It is a paradox, this longing we have for water because water can kill us. Water is filled with contradictions. A river can be playful and inviting, but also trapping and treacherous. A wave can lift you up or swallow you whole. The ocean can be rhythmic and calming or chaotic and terrifying. Water can be cleansing and pure or a carrier of bacteria and disease. Water gives life and it takes life. Water is powerful in every way.
I learned of the Water People a few years ago. The Bajau tribe from Malaysia live on the sea in floating homes that are disconnected from the mainland. They spend more time in the water than any other people group in the world. They are as close as you can get to literal merpeople. They cannot read or write, but they can fish and swim. They have spent so many generations swimming, that they have enlarged spleens which store oxygenated blood and allow them to stay underwater for up to 10 minutes! I would love to have that superpower.
I don’t live near the sea, but I have mountain rivers and the beautiful Lake Jocassee. I spend my summer days diving into her transformative waters. If I work hard and learn to control my breath, maybe I can stay underwater for 2 minutes. Always pushing the line a little further. I am confident I can pull together a tribe of Jocassee Water People. I know a few who would gladly join me.
Plunge I used to be afraid of drowning. I would lie awake at night thinking of black waters swallowing me and how I would fight against them. They would hold me down and I would struggle breathless until the darkness overtook. But now, I want to plunge. I want to stay as long as I can. I am standing high on the rock studying the deep rhododendron waters. My mind resists the urge of my heart I long to fly then plummet deep into the waters Like an osprey who becomes a trout. My heart wins. I spread my arms bending at the elbow, osprey wings ready to take flight Leap. For just a moment, less than a breath, I am airborne And then I plunge. A splash disrupts the smooth surface as I am swallowed down to the deep green darkness How far will I drop, weightless? Will I cross the barrier where the water draws me down instead of sending me back up? Silence. Silky water on my skin, like cool sheets on a hot night, Like a lover’s skin pressed to mine, the water presses to me. Safe. I spread my arms before me and push back to feel the resistance Against every square centimeter of my skin. I open my eyes to see the sun distilled into shafts of light penetrating the depth, Pure water in so many shades of green I want to stay This is the part where I become the trout, right? Hold My Breath My lungs begin to feel human and against my will, my feet respond with a flutter kick. Exposed, I am expelled to the skies I break the smooth surface from the inside out and take in oxygen. I used to be afraid of drowning But now, I want to plunge I want to stay as long as I can.
Your photos and words are beautiful! Water is an intriguing mystery. Although I have always lived in the dry western US, bodies of water have always drawn me. Not so much to be on them, but next to them. I love walking next to rivers and streams, sitting with springs and lakes, and being next to the sea is exhilarating and grounding at the same time. It is hard to tear myself away.
Beautiful Tricia. Well said!